Communication
by Matt Abrahams
Put on the spot, what do you say?
Most of what we say is unplanned. Your boss asks for your view in a meeting, or someone hands you the mic at a wedding. Matt Abrahams, who teaches communication at Stanford's business school, says speaking well in those moments is a skill, and you can practise it.
Hear a sample · read by Laura
Abrahams starts with nerves, because anxiety eats the attention you need for thinking. For the body, breathe out for longer than you breathe in, or hold something cold. For the mind, accept that nerves are normal and pull yourself back to the present, away from the disaster you're imagining.
Trying to say the perfect thing is what freezes us. Aim for a reasonable answer and get it out. You'll usually do better than if you'd waited for a brilliant one, and you'll be listening instead of rehearsing.
A presentation or a tough question can feel like a test you might fail. Abrahams suggests reframing it as a conversation with people who want it to go well. Words come out more easily when you're talking with people than when you're performing at them.
When a question lands, slow down. Listen to what's being asked, to what might sit behind it, and to your own gut. Abrahams suggests paraphrasing the question back before you answer. It checks you've understood it, and it buys you a few seconds to think.
Structure is what makes speaking off the cuff possible. One shape Abrahams returns to is three questions. What is it? Why does it matter? What should happen next? It works for a project update, an answer in a meeting, even small talk. To persuade, he uses problem, solution, benefit.
Nerves
Nerves are normal. Slow your breathing and remind yourself the stakes are smaller than they feel.
Dare to be dull
Dare to be dull. Saying something solid beats freezing while you hunt for the perfect answer.
Reframe
Treat a surprise question as a chance to talk, rather than a threat to survive.
Listen
Listen properly first. The right reply is often in what they just said.
Structure
Use a simple shape like What, So what, Now what to keep your answer on track.
One thing to try
This week, answer three ordinary questions with What? So what? Now what? will do. Say what you did, why it mattered and what's next. It feels stiff the first time. By the third, it feels like talking.
Knotd has the key ideas from 250+ non-fiction books, each in a few minutes, in plain words. Think Faster, Talk Smarter comes with a Your Move story to make it stick.
Get the whole book on KnotdOpen in the appPut on the spot, what do you say? Most of what we say is unplanned. Your boss asks for your view in a meeting, or someone hands you the mic at a wedding. Matt Abrahams, who teaches communication at Stanford's business school, says speaking well in those moments is a skill, and you can practise it.
Calm the body first; Maximise mediocrity; Make it a conversation; Listen before you answer; What? So what? Now what?.
This week, answer three ordinary questions with What? So what? Now what? will do. Say what you did, why it mattered and what's next. It feels stiff the first time. By the third, it feels like talking.
Yes. Knotd has the key ideas from Think Faster, Talk Smarter in a few minutes, in plain words, plus a Your Move story to test them. It's one of 250+ non-fiction books in the app.
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