Mindfulness
by Gretchen Rubin
Happier in the life you've got?
Gretchen Rubin had a good life in New York, with a husband she loved, two daughters and work she enjoyed. On a city bus one rainy morning, she realised time was slipping by while she barely noticed. So she gave herself a year to get happier, without upending anything.
Hear a sample · read by Laura
Rubin gave each month a theme and a handful of concrete resolutions. January was energy, with earlier bedtimes and clearing clutter. February was her marriage. Work, parenting, friends and money came later. She scored herself daily on a chart, copying Benjamin Franklin, who tracked his virtues the same way.
This is one of Rubin's Twelve Commandments, the personal rules she wrote for the year. Feelings are hard to change head-on, but actions change them. To feel friendlier, act friendlier. When she felt grumpy she acted cheerful anyway, and the mood often followed.
Some things feel like hard work while you do them and make you happy afterwards, like throwing a party or cooking a big family dinner. Rubin calls this fog happiness, because it seems to vanish when you look at it closely. She counts it all the same.
No crisis
Rubin wasn't unhappy. She wanted to feel happier in the ordinary life she already had.
A theme a month
She gave each month one area, like energy or friendship, and kept a chart of small resolutions.
Be Gretchen
Her first rule was Be Gretchen, which meant enjoying what she liked instead of what she felt she should.
Clutter
Clearing clutter and finishing small nagging jobs gave her a surprising lift.
Act the part
When you're in a bad mood, act cheerful anyway. Your feelings tend to catch up.
A story from the book
Rubin noticed that when she did a chore, she wanted her husband Jamie to notice and praise her. When he didn't, she seethed. She called it wanting gold stars. One of her resolutions for the marriage was to do things because she wanted them done, and stop keeping score.
One thing to try
For a week, do any job that takes less than a minute straight away. Hang up the coat, file the letter, rinse the mug, answer the text. Rubin found that small jobs left undone piled up into the clutter that made her feel frazzled.
Knotd has the key ideas from 250+ non-fiction books, each in a few minutes, in plain words. The Happiness Project comes with a Your Move story to make it stick.
Get the whole book on KnotdOpen in the appHappier in the life you've got? Gretchen Rubin had a good life in New York, with a husband she loved, two daughters and work she enjoyed. On a city bus one rainy morning, she realised time was slipping by while she barely noticed. So she gave herself a year to get happier, without upending anything.
A theme for every month; Act the way you want to feel; Fog happiness.
For a week, do any job that takes less than a minute straight away. Hang up the coat, file the letter, rinse the mug, answer the text. Rubin found that small jobs left undone piled up into the clutter that made her feel frazzled.
Yes. Knotd has the key ideas from The Happiness Project in a few minutes, in plain words, plus a Your Move story to test them. It's one of 250+ non-fiction books in the app.
