Philosophy
by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz
What makes a life go well?
In 1938, researchers began following a group of Harvard students through their lives. Soon after, another study began following boys from Boston's poorest neighbourhoods. Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz now run the combined Harvard Study of Adult Development. This book shares what more than eighty years of it found.
Hear a sample · read by Laura
Most research on happiness asks people to look back. This study asked the men as their lives happened, over decades, with questionnaires, interviews, medical records and brain scans. Their lives went in every direction. Some climbed from the bottom of society to the top, and some went the other way.
The study's clearest finding is that warm relationships keep people happier and healthier. Looking back at the men at 50, the researchers found that how satisfied they were in their relationships predicted their health at 80 better than their cholesterol did.
Waldinger and Schulz argue that relationships behave like muscles. Leave them alone and they weaken, however strong they once were. They call the upkeep social fitness, and treat it like exercise, something you do regularly and on purpose.
In the study, lonelier people's health declined earlier in midlife, their brains declined sooner, and they tended to die younger. Feeling lonely isn't the same as being alone, the authors point out. You can be lonely in a crowd, or in a marriage.
For difficult moments with other people, the book offers WISER. Watch what's happening. Interpret it, trying more than one explanation. Select a response. Engage. Then Reflect on how it went. It puts a pause between the feeling and what you do about it.
Relationships
The study's clearest finding is that warm relationships keep people happier and healthier as they age.
At fifty
How happy people were in their relationships at 50 predicted their health at 80 better than cholesterol did.
Loneliness
Loneliness does more than make you sad. It wears down the body and can shorten your life.
Social fitness
Friendships need upkeep, the way muscles do. The authors call it social fitness.
Attention
The simplest gift you can give someone you love is your full attention.
Hot take · true or myth?
Your relationships at work can make a real difference to your life.
True. The book gives work its own chapter. We spend a huge share of our waking hours with colleagues, and good relationships there do a lot for our wellbeing.
One thing to try
List the people in your life. Next to each, note how often you see them and whether time with them tends to leave you energised or drained. Pick one person you'd like to see more of, and put a date in the diary with them this week.
Knotd has the key ideas from 250+ non-fiction books, each in a few minutes, in plain words. The Good Life comes with a Hot Take round and a Your Move story to make it stick.
Get the whole book on KnotdOpen in the appWhat makes a life go well? In 1938, researchers began following a group of Harvard students through their lives. Soon after, another study began following boys from Boston's poorest neighbourhoods. Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz now run the combined Harvard Study of Adult Development. This book shares what more than eighty years of it found.
Asked as it happened; Relationships, above all; Social fitness; Loneliness is a health risk; WISER, for hard moments.
List the people in your life. Next to each, note how often you see them and whether time with them tends to leave you energised or drained. Pick one person you'd like to see more of, and put a date in the diary with them this week.
Yes. Knotd has the key ideas from The Good Life in a few minutes, in plain words, plus a Hot Take round and a Your Move story to test them. It's one of 250+ non-fiction books in the app.
