Psychology
by Robert Cialdini
Why do we say yes?
Robert Cialdini calls himself a lifelong patsy for a good sales pitch. So the psychologist went undercover, training alongside car dealers, fundraisers and advertisers to learn how they work. Almost every trick he found worked by pressing one of a handful of mental shortcuts we all rely on.
Hear a sample · read by Laura
A mother turkey will care for anything that makes the cheep-cheep sound of a chick, even a stuffed polecat, her natural enemy, fitted with a tape recorder. Cialdini calls this kind of automatic response click, whirr. People have triggers too, and persuaders know where they are.
Cialdini groups the tactics under six principles: reciprocation, commitment and consistency, social proof, liking, authority and scarcity. Each is a rule of thumb that usually steers us right, like repaying favours or trusting experts. The trouble starts when someone fakes the cue to get a yes.
We feel we must repay what others give us, even gifts we never asked for. Hare Krishna members would press a flower into a traveller's hand at the airport, refuse to take it back, then ask for a donation. Plenty gave money, then dropped the flower in the nearest bin.
Once we've taken a stand, we want to act in line with it. Homeowners who agreed to display a tiny 'Be a safe driver' sign were far more likely, weeks later, to let a huge, badly lettered safe-driving billboard go up on their front lawn.
Reciprocation
A small gift, like the Hare Krishnas' flowers, makes people feel they owe you.
Commitment
Once we take a stand, even a small one, we push ourselves to stay consistent with it.
Social proof
When we're unsure what to do, we copy what people like us are doing.
Liking
We say yes more easily to people we like, which is why Tupperware sold at parties among friends.
Authority
In Milgram's study, ordinary people kept giving what they thought were painful shocks because a scientist told them to.
A story from the book
A friend of Cialdini's couldn't sell some turquoise jewellery in her Arizona shop. Before a trip, she left a note telling a saleswoman to sell the display at half price. The note was misread and the prices were doubled. It all sold. Tourists took the high price to mean quality.
One thing to try
When you feel stuck with a yes you're unsure about, ask Cialdini's question. Knowing what I know now, if I could go back, would I make the same choice? Notice the feeling that arrives in the first second, before your reasons catch up. Cialdini trusts that one.
Knotd has the key ideas from 250+ non-fiction books, each in a few minutes, in plain words. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion comes with a Spot the Trap case and a Your Move story to make it stick.
Get the whole book on KnotdOpen in the appWhy do we say yes? Robert Cialdini calls himself a lifelong patsy for a good sales pitch. So the psychologist went undercover, training alongside car dealers, fundraisers and advertisers to learn how they work. Almost every trick he found worked by pressing one of a handful of mental shortcuts we all rely on.
Click, whirr; Six weapons of influence; Reciprocation; Commitment and consistency.
When you feel stuck with a yes you're unsure about, ask Cialdini's question. Knowing what I know now, if I could go back, would I make the same choice? Notice the feeling that arrives in the first second, before your reasons catch up. Cialdini trusts that one.
Yes. Knotd has the key ideas from Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion in a few minutes, in plain words, plus a Spot the Trap case and a Your Move story to test them. It's one of 250+ non-fiction books in the app.
